Once someone sees my before and after photo, the first question I get asked what my secret is. Everyone already knows that there is no secret. There's only hard work and dedication. Some people hate hearing that and even get mad. I've had several instances where they didn't hear what they thought they would hear.
Followed Home
One afternoon, when I was still living at my other house, I walked home from the gym to find someone waving at me from a car that had pulled over. It was a woman who had just left the gym who was there while I was working out. She complimented me on my progress and wanted to know my secret. She was like, "Are you on a special diet? Do you take any supplements or pills?" and when I answered, "No. I just work hard and eat the best I can," She kind of got pissed at me. She said ok and got back in her car, speeding away. There is no magic pill, diet fad or anything that will give you permanent results besides continued dedication to living a healthy life.
Getting Told That I'm Doing It All Wrong
There were two instances where two different men told me that what I was doing was wrong. One guy, who never even carries water with him to the gym but rather drink monster drinks, tells me I won't get the results I want working out the way I am. He also told me I need to be doing more cardio and less weight with more reps. How can I listen to a man who says cramping is good and that he doesn't need water? I am not the best or healthiest person alive but I know that everyone needs to be correctly hydrated.
The second guy was working out next to me on a smith machine. He told me I wasn't bench pressing low enough to work my chest muscles. I googled and then watched youtube videos on it right as he walked away. You do not have to go all the way down and touch your chest with the bar, or smack your chest, like some men do. Before I totally throw an opinion out, I research it. I look into what I'm being told and change accordingly if I need to.
Half-Faced Compliments
I'm pretty sure everyone has gotten a compliment before. i'm also pretty sure that you've received one then told something that totally cancels out the positive remark from that same person. I've had this happen so many times, it is crazy.
1. You look amazing! Keep up the good work-to me, this may be the usual response from a family member or friend to your altered body. I also see it as, "Well, you look better. Keep trying." That's my altered thinking though.
2. Skinny Minnie-this applies mostly to women. I have been and still get called this. I don't see myself as "skinny" but working on being fit. It may be how people view you but if it's not how you view yourself, move on.
3. How much weight have you lost? You can definitely see a difference-for people who look solely at the scale, this gets to them. I used to be hell bent on the number on that little machine. I know now that my overall body composition is much more important. Answer what you have lost. Tell them what they ask for. If they say something else, tell them, "Nope. I've lost...lbs. That's it." Some don't like just ending it with a number. They like the banter back and forth. I always answer, "From when? Joining the gym here or overall during my journey?" That either shuts them up or they get curious. Some just don't care and feel like being nosey.
4. Oh you look like you've lost...lbs!!! What did you do? ....oh and I remember how unhealthy you were when you first started...-for one, not everyone starts in a gym or where everyone else starts. I had the incident where I woman complimented me on how well I was doing but then threw into the convo that when I first started going to Planet Fitness, she saw how "I struggled to even walk on the treadmill and now look at me." For one, I was jogging on the treadmill plus out in the neighborhood and 2, I was not almost 300 pounds when joining. I was 175. If you are gonna say something, have your facts straight. I was on the stair climber so i was not even going to start a full out conversation with her.....
5. You're built like a dude-just because I lift heavy, does not make me bulky or look like a man. I have gained a good bit of muscle which has given me even more feminine curves. To women out there who think strength training with make you all bulky, put that lie in the back of your mind. More muscle means you will burn more calories more efficiently. If we looked past the number, the world truly would be a better place. I do not want to be a stick. I want to be a healthy, fit, curvy female who is strong inside and out.
6. You will work it off in the gym-anytime you are out with friends or family and you eat a little on the unhealthy side, you feel guilty. If you make a comment or something about it, they are the first people to bring up the gym. Some of them do not even go to the gym or exercise. I constantly hear this or am told how to eat like, "Oh Kristen! Here is the salad menu!" or "Kristen, they have healthy options over here." Dude, take your own advice. Let me enjoy myself some and if I feel bad, I feel bad. That's none of your worry.
Passing Judgement
No one in this world is perfect or should see themselves as such. We all have flaws and all sit on the toilet. If you see a heavier person at the gym, do not poke fun or think meanly. Think that they are trying to get their health in order. Even then, you do not know who they are or if they have already been on their journey for a while. Do not judge healthier people wrongly either. Just because they are fit now doesn't mean they didn't work hard to get to where they are now. If you are in between like I am, you have been working on bettering yourself and it is slowly paying off. People will judge you because you are changing yourself. Humans, as a species, hate change. So, when a friend or someone around you makes a change, and you're not making that same change, sometimes remarks are passed as well as judgement. Worry about yourself and your life. Compliment someone genuinely without any strings attached. Do what is best for you and be nice to those around you. Motivation and support are truly what everyone needs. Not criticism.
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