Extreme Natural Weight Loss and Accepting the Loose Skin That Comes With It

When I was growing up, i had very few friends and I always blamed my weight. Even from childhood, I was not a small child. My family slowly felt the need to dress me to cover up the weight. So, I just came ok with being how I was. I didn't know what exercising was or what healthy food options were. i just knew home cooked meals and fast food. Naturally, consuming mostly unhealthy food with no exercise would lead to weight gain. Over the years, I'd just gain weight and keep gaining. Of course the doctors were like, "She needs to lose weight or she would be dead before she is 18." I was unhappy with myself and looked to food for comfort. Food was my only friend and my parents gave most of their attention to my younger sister who had behavioral problems growing up. It just had its effects on me and I never felt accepted. 



Naturally, without a change in my overall lifestyle, the weight kept piling on as I entered elementary school. Still had no friends and kept eating to comfort myself.  Children never made jokes or fun of me for my weight until right before high school and even then, it was only one girl who did it.  It first happened when we had to be weighed for our 8th grade graduation gowns. "I bet there wasn't even a number on the scale for you, huh Kristen?" Laughing as she said it. So, from early on, the scale kind of ruled over my mind. I was fat, obese, unhealthy or whatever I was seen to be. I really never knew who I was. I was just the nerdy, fat girl who wore glasses since she was in kindergarten.  No one ever really paid much attention to me except when it came to my size. 

Being overweight is in my genes and yes I have fought them for years.  Both sides of my family have the gene and other health issues. It is hereditary and also just something we have to deal with.  In this picture are me(in black), my sister(in teal), and my cousin(in white). I seemed happy to be alive but I was with my family. My cousin and I are only 3 months apart so we are close and always have been. He has really never been a heavy guy and now, he is over 6 feet tall while I'm like 5'4" to 5'5". Heavy on me never looked good. 

Even with trying to be a normal child, even Halloween was hard. Trying to find a child-sized costume for my sister or I was always a challenge. Most of the time, my mom would make us costumes out of clothes we already had. Sad but true.  I never saw my weight as a problem until I was older and my health was slowly getting worse. I am on the right in this photo and my sister on the left. 

I didn't truly wake up until I was 19 and my heaviest "known" weight was 346.4. I'm pretty sure at one point I was heavier than that but I hated the scale. So, for the record, I have been over 300 pounds since I was 12, or 7 years before I decided to change. Even then, it took me like 5 months to get out of the 300s. Nothing about weight loss or improving your health is easy.

Even in high school, I had few friends and I still saw my weight as the problem.  Ordering larger gown sizes and a larger ring than most of the girls in my class. 

My aunt(dad's sister) is on my left and her husband on my right.  I was just clueless but happy that I was out of high school. They definitely weren't the best four years of my life like some of you have read. They were the worst years actually.

My friend, Jessica, took this photo with me after our awards ceremony at school. This girl has never changed and was always nice to me. She didn't see my size but me as a person. I am not even sure if she truly wanted to take this picture or not but I'm glad she did. 

Fast Forwarding a Bit....

 My obsession with the scale went kind of far but I didn't realize how far until I look back at the pictures. Yes I probably do look smaller than I am now, which is true. Yeah the scale was happy and low but that was the only thing that had made me happy. I hated how I looked and my clothes gave me "shape". I soon realized that I was obsessing over every little thing that went in my mouth including gum and even mints....once I decided that I needed to eat more and that lifting would help my loose skin, I did put weight back on, most of which is muscle. The other I am slowly losing as I go.  

I am now more focused on tightening my body up and losing the fat that the loose skin has under it. I am not ashamed of the skin anymore and people actually see it and realize where I have come. It has gotten a lot easier to talk about my story and my struggles with the scale than ever before.  Yeah the scale and "BMI chart" shows obese for my current size but it doesn't take into account all of the muscle I have put on with the tightening of the loose skin. If you just focus on how you look and feel overall, then that is all you need to be happy.  How can a single number make you happy? I am not letting it anymore. Once i take more loose skin pictures, I will post them. I have nothing to hide and I will eventually be adding videos. Someone may just need to hear something I have to say and it will all click for them. You never know. Be open about your experiences and maybe the other person needed to hear what you had to say. How will you know unless you try? You won't. 

Society and The Pressure It Places On Us

When children play when they are first interacting with other kids, they do not judge them on their size, race, etc. Once they start going to school, that still stays the same.  As soon as puberty hits around the ages of 10-13, they become more conscious of themselves and those they associate with.  High school is where the transition from accepting everyone to accepting only a select few, occurs. May it be physical attributes, common interests or educational similarities that separate one group from another, it still isolates those who seem to not fit in anywhere. I was one of the few who was not accepted by any one select group. I kind of knew it was my weight that pushed others away, but, just the thought of that is horrible.  We, as humans, have the freedom to choose right and wrong. Yeah there always is pressure to want to fit in so, even if you do not agree with what someone says or does, you follow along to keep their attention and friendship. I wasn't willing to judge others like that or to be in a group who would isolate themselves because of one difference from another.

Society isn't much different from a high school lunch room where the nerds stuck together, the cool kids took over any table they wanted and the kids who were jocks decided to pick on the smaller kids.  My question is though, why do we want to be outcasted from other people? Why do we not want to be friends with those who are different from us? Are we scared? 

The answer to all of these is simple: we care too much about what others think of us.  Yeah some say they could care less what people say, but, they may be the first person to check with people on the latest gossip.  For those who talk about other people behind their backs, why do that either? It will just come back to bite you in the butt.  

Physical appearance has to be the worst thing that society makes us self conscious about.  All you see is stick-thin girls, shirtless, buff guys and negative placed on same sex couples.  Models, or fashion models, are wanted to be really thin and we all know that isn't healthy but the younger generations grow up wanting to be accepted like the models are.  Same goes with celebrities. If you carry any extra weight on you, you are "fat" shamed. If you get too "thin" then they make a whole scene about that as well. So you can see why so many young girls either have eating disorders, distorted perceptions of their bodies, or get bullied for being a tad different from society's "norm". Men also feel the need to look a certain way when they see home men are portrayed in society as well.  You usually see buff men with their shirts off or men who are physically fit.  This ads pressure for guys to be that way too.  The thing society doesn't understand is that not everyone is genetically able to be as they want us to be.  We shouldn't be what they want either. We need to be who we are. OURSELVES!  

Same sex couples are also discriminated against on how they look.  If you look like a guy, then you have to be a guy and vise versa for a woman.  God made us to be as we are.  You can not help who you are attracted to or who you fall in love with.  It is an instinct that everyone truly needs to embrace.  Be yourself. If you are a female who likes females, then be happy with the woman you love.  Men do the same.  Do not let a man made idea like our society change your feelings.  If people can not accept others as they are, then why do they get mad when people do not do the same for them? It is a double edged sword and we all need to appreciate the diversity that our world has to offer, because, a world where we are all the same would be really boring.  It would also look too perfect.  No one in this world is perfect. So why does society expect us to be? GREAT QUESTION....

Getting Past the "Compliments" and Opinionated "Comments"

Once someone sees my before and after photo, the first question I get asked what my secret is.  Everyone already knows that there is no secret.  There's only hard work and dedication.  Some people hate hearing that and even get mad.  I've had several instances where they didn't hear what they thought they would hear. 

Followed Home

One afternoon, when I was still living at my other house, I walked home from the gym to find someone waving at me from a car that had pulled over.  It was a woman who had just left the gym who was there while I was working out.  She complimented me on my progress and wanted to know my secret.  She was like, "Are you on a special diet? Do you take any supplements or pills?" and when I answered, "No. I just work hard and eat the best I can," She kind of got pissed at me. She said ok and got back in her car, speeding away.  There is no magic pill, diet fad or anything that will give you permanent results besides continued dedication to living a healthy life.  

Getting Told That I'm Doing It All Wrong

There were two instances where two different men told me that what I was doing was wrong.  One guy, who never even carries water with him to the gym but rather drink monster drinks, tells me I won't get the results I want working out the way I am.  He also told me I need to be doing more cardio and less weight with more reps.  How can I listen to a man who says cramping is good and that he doesn't need water? I am not the best or healthiest person alive but I know that everyone needs to be correctly hydrated. 

The second guy was working out next to me on a smith machine.  He told me I wasn't bench pressing low enough to work my chest muscles.  I googled and then watched youtube videos on it right as he walked away.  You do not have to go all the way down and touch your chest with the bar, or smack your chest, like some men do. Before I totally throw an opinion out, I research it.  I look into what I'm being told and change accordingly if I need to.

Half-Faced Compliments

I'm pretty sure everyone has gotten a compliment before.  i'm also pretty sure that you've received one then told something that totally cancels out the positive remark from that same person.  I've had this happen so many times, it is crazy.  

       1. You look amazing! Keep up the good work-to me, this may be the usual response from a family member or friend to your altered body. I also see it as, "Well, you look better. Keep trying." That's my altered thinking though.
       2. Skinny Minnie-this applies mostly to women.  I have been and still get called this.  I don't see myself as "skinny" but working on being fit. It may be how people view you but if it's not how you view yourself, move on.
       3. How much weight have you lost? You can definitely see a difference-for people who look solely at the scale, this gets to them.  I used to be hell bent on the number on that little machine.  I know now that my overall body composition is much more important.  Answer what you have lost. Tell them what they ask for. If they say something else, tell them, "Nope. I've lost...lbs. That's it." Some don't like just ending it with a number. They like the banter back and forth. I always answer, "From when? Joining the gym here or overall during my journey?" That either shuts them up or they get curious. Some just don't care and feel like being nosey.
       4. Oh you look like you've lost...lbs!!! What did you do? ....oh and I remember how unhealthy you were when you first started...-for one, not everyone starts in a gym or where everyone else starts.  I had the incident where I woman complimented me on how well I was doing but then threw into the convo that when I first started going to Planet Fitness, she saw how "I struggled to even walk on the treadmill and now look at me." For one, I was jogging on the treadmill plus out in the neighborhood and 2, I was not almost 300 pounds when joining. I was 175. If you are gonna say something, have your facts straight. I was on the stair climber so i was not even going to start a full out conversation with her.....
       5. You're built like a dude-just because I lift heavy, does not make me bulky or look like a man.  I have gained a good bit of muscle which has given me even more feminine curves. To women out there who think strength training with make you all bulky, put that lie in the back of your mind.  More muscle means you will burn more calories more efficiently. If we looked past the number, the world truly would be a better place.  I do not want to be a stick.  I want to be a healthy, fit, curvy female who is strong inside and out. 
        6. You will work it off in the gym-anytime you are out with friends or family and you eat a little on the unhealthy side, you feel guilty. If you make a comment or something about it, they are the first people to bring up the gym.  Some of them do not even go to the gym or exercise. I constantly hear this or am told how to eat like, "Oh Kristen! Here is the salad menu!" or "Kristen, they have healthy options over here." Dude, take your own advice. Let me enjoy myself some and if I feel bad, I feel bad. That's none of your worry.  

Passing Judgement

No one in this world is perfect or should see themselves as such.  We all have flaws and all sit on the  toilet.  If you see a heavier person at the gym, do not poke fun or think meanly. Think that they are trying to get their health in order.  Even then, you do not know who they are or if they have already been on their journey for a while.  Do not judge healthier people wrongly either.  Just because they are fit now doesn't mean they didn't work hard to get to where they are now.  If you are in between like I am, you have been working on bettering yourself and it is slowly paying off. People will judge you because you are changing yourself.  Humans, as a species, hate change.  So, when a friend or someone around you makes a change, and you're not making that same change, sometimes remarks are passed as well as judgement.  Worry about yourself and your life.  Compliment someone genuinely without any strings attached.  Do what is best for you and be nice to those around you.  Motivation and support are truly what everyone needs. Not criticism.